Monday, April 26, 2010

rollerblading auctioneers?!?

i feel like maybe i'll be able to think straight again - at least for a little while.

Anchor Rising was a blast and we raised a lot of money for our North Africa trip. It was a cool experience to dream up such a big event and really plan and carry it out - Dinner, live auction, silent auction, and concert all wrapped up into one evening. We were so blessed with some great donations of auction items - and now we're only $1200 away from having ALL of our funds for 16 people to fly to Africa. God is so good. Auctioneers should always wear rollerblades.
Sound Check - Dayla makes me sound 10x better
How did I end up with such gorgeous, wonderfully talented, helpful friends?
Best dancing & roller blading auctioneers of all time. 
African Curry and auction time.
Concert time.
Cookin up some African Curry.

So without a bajillion auction-related details running through my head, i'm suddenly freed up to continue thinking about my 6 part-time jobs and job hunting for something full-time before Africa again. I'm supposed to hear back about a job on Friday that I interviewed for last week. After the rejection I experienced from the last interview, i'm being a lot wiser about not getting so attached to this one. That was somewhat sarcastic - I did get too attached to a job I thought I was going to be offered, and I didn't it. But i'm finding a new peace about the situation. Not total contentment and joy, but more peace than before. If i'm supposed to suck it up and do the part time shuffle a while longer, I can do it. Lord knows i'm dying to get out of it - but His timing is so much better than mine.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

when it don't come easy

From Matthew 6:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Oh, how this hit me hard today. I would say that it knocked me off my feet, but I sat snuggled in a blanket on my couch as I read it this morning. I set the Book down.

How could this passage, one of my absolute favorites, not even cross my mind in the past month or so? 

I've been worrying. 
Sometimes without even realizing it.
But I've worried. It's in my nature. It has learned to take a more sneaky approach, I think, as i've experienced the fruitlessness of it's oppressive ways. This time was sneaky, alright, and this hit me like a boulder.
It is so strange to have been reading almost only the Old Testament these past eight months in Navigate and to suddenly land in the Gospels. I feel like i've suddenly arrived home after a long day. I throw my things on the floor in that pile of stuff that grows exponentially and barely make it to my bed before crashing into my down comforter and curling up tightly with a cool pillow. It is suddenly so rich and comfortable and familiar. It is like home. It is what 852 pages over the past 8 months have been begging and aching for. 
And suddenly I am here. It was cozy for a while, and then it smacked me upside the head. 

Am I not more important than birds?
...and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 
...for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I've been watching Spring unfold, watching it lurking, waiting to pounce on us like a hungry tiger behind the brush. The cold has lingered, but Spring is creeping its way in. I can smell it on the air. I see its sprouts pushing up through the dirt. l feel in my bones that it is near as I see things slowly start to come to life, to push up and to unfold. I am amazed by its intricacies, by the way the Spring just appears and life starts to grow. My eyes are caught by the light and the colors and my chest expands as I find myself taking deeper and deeper breaths. 
And yet, this is just the Spring. These are just the flowers. This is just the grass, they are only the trees. My feet walk on just the dirt and my ears hear just the birds. As He clothes these simple things in their new fresh life, how can I not see how much more I will receive in comparison to grass and flowers and birds? How can I not remember how much more He cares for me? That He will "clothe me in garments of salvation and array me in a robe of righteousness. As a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest and as a bride adorns her head with jewels." (Is 61:10)
If I shift back to verse eight, He says, "for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." 

It seems so silly, now, all of my asking. No, all of my telling.
I need this, Lord. You need to give me this, Lord. I'm sick of this, and instead I need to have this. 
It seems so silly, so immature. 
He knows it. 
I need only to watch the Spring unfold to know how richly He desires to take care of me. 

Go ahead, sing it, Patty.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

about to head into the city this morning to wrap up recording for the cd. got some already mixed tracks the other day from matt and i'm getting really pumped.
what i'm NOT pumped about is not getting an email back from this job. more details to come - but they emailed me yesterday saying they were "determined to make a decision by the end of the day" and would email me when they email. so, needless to say, i'm a little frustrated....but trying to forget it while i go do what i love. :)

this is my game face for the my cliche cool musician hat because i didn't feel like washing my hair this mornin'...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

yes, i really look like this.

So maybe this isn't the most flattering picture of me ever taken, but I had to prove my point.
I cannot begin to describe the complete 540 degree turn (that's one and a half turns) my mood has taken since entering the Atlantic City Airport yesterday. 

The Atlantic City International Airport has 1 terminal.
1 entrance for both Arrivals and Departures.
7 Gates.
1 Hudson News kiosk.
1 Sam Adams bar.
1 Thrashers fried food extravaganza.
Lots of golfers.
The taste of stale fries wafting through the air.
And a LOT of delayed flights.

Today consists of:
Lots of catching up for Anchor Rising planning.
One child that will not nap, but loves to scream, bite, scratch, and hit.
Setting up 2 job interviews for this week - and sacrificing work hours for them.
The struggle to be content with where I am and what I'm doing.
The realization that I'm done-zo with the childcare field.

What a huge blessing it has been for the past year and a half, but I think the season has ended. At least, my willingness to endure the season has ended. Pray for these interviews this week. Pray I find a kind soul that will let me replace my current smorgasbord of part time jobs with a full time one, knowing that i'm leaving the country for a few weeks over the summer. Pray for sanity and patience and motivation and wisdom and stamina. Do I ask too much?

I don't think so - this face is too unflattering to keep this up much longer.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

how sweet it is.

i'm in og and realizing how good rest really is.
it involves being really lazy, laying people couches watching silly tv, sitting at barnes and noble for 3.5 hours, playing mario kart, cooking dinner, eating at surf taco, getting strollos.
rest is good.
separation from the real world once and again (with the occasional email checking, of course) is good.
it's refreshing.

i had an interview with a staffing agency in boston on wednesday before hopping on a plane thursday morning for my vacay. the interview went well, and I left feeling confident that these people would find me consistent work whenever i gave them the go ahead. it felt good to know that there was a definite job option, but also left me with a lot of questions about scheduling before leaving the country in june and my sister's wedding right before that. not to mention commuting costs and whether or not i'd make it very long in the world of corporate boston. so i left town with lots of questions, but excited to get away and clear my mind, do some praying about it all...
and what do you know? i get 2 calls/emails from jobs i've applied to wanting to set up interviews for next week. jobs that are much closer to home and much more appealing at this point. and up til now, hardly anyone has responded at all to my sending of resumes. so this is nice - and God always works like this. you let down your guard and rest and let Him take charge of things, take your hand off the wheel a bit and His provision starts flowing in. so we'll see how it all goes.

church tomorrow and speaking at youth group - then chillin on monday and headin back to the Bev.
rest. is. so. good.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

goodnight, beverly.

heading out in the'll find out where soon enough.
i love flying.
it makes me feel all independent and adventurous.
except it's only 274 miles away....(that was a hint)

on a different note:
Whyyyy do I keep watching LOST?
It drives me insane.
I have no idea what is happening.
But similar to how the characters have some kind of strange pull back to the island, I have some kind of sick pull to keep watching it every week. I have this completely irrational fear that I will somehow fall behind by missing a week when really, I have no idea what is going on anyway. You could probably show me an episode from season 4 and I wouldn't know the difference. I can't even remember which season I started watching in.

but it doesn't matter because i'm sleeping with the windows open tonight and getting on a plane tomorrow.

rock me, amadeus

i'm trekking into the city today.
i'm taking the commuter rail.
all by myself.
like a real adult.
for an interview with a staffing agency.

This may all seem simple. I've been living 3 blocks away from the commuter rail for a year and a half now. This should be a common occurrence in my life, but it really just doesn't happen. I haven't really needed to use it. Elisa and I went into the city on Saturday to make sure I knew where I was going and how to get to the office, but this is exciting. Me, Little Miss Independent, is taking her first big girl trip into the city for her first big girl interview. Why it hasn't happened until now, I have no idea. I'm super lame.

But i'm also excited. This interview means maybe breaking out of the childcare field, which has been awesome, but it's time to build up my resume up for something other than nannying. And it also just means feeling like I'm actually an adult living just North of Boston.

So a morning with Riley, an afternoon in the city, a possible train ride home with Bonnie, Navigate, and packing up for VACAY tomorrow morning. It cannot come soon enough...

ALSO! I just paid off my credit card that I took out to buy my car 1 year ago. It was a cheap car and I paid half credit card and half cash...and it's done!!! I'm still paying off repairs that have happened since I bought it, and i'm not so happy with my car right now...but yay for paying off a credit card!!!
I also made a deal with myself that if I was willing to buy this new camera, I had to be willing to pay off the rest of that card in one fell swoop. And there you have it...Amadeus, one year old, paid off, and causing me more troubles than I can count....

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

you get what you get

1) going on vacay this thursday through monday and could not be more excited - except for the weather forcast. that will have to improve, but other than that i'm so excited. it will be fantastic to get away from my balancing act of 6 part time jobs and job hunt and spend time with people i love.
destination is to be announced - for the safety of its residents, and for shear and utter shock factor, i'm leaving it a surprise. jenna rene....coming to a town near you?

2) ms kelsey lynn posted some sick pics from the photo shoot yesterday. i'm so pumped. she had to stop editing for a while to actually be a student, but when she's got more time, expect more pics...

i'm kind of like a rockstar.

The gazebo and the bench are my favorite - i love the wall pic, but i'm interested to see if i like some of the other wall pics she took better. there are about 300 total to go through from the day so there's bound to be something.

3) My irresponsible purchase is underway. I used my reward points to get a $50 walmart giftcard sent my way. when that gets here, i'm ordering the camera online, where it is $30 cheaper than anywhere else - including in the store itself. So i'm saving a bunch of money on it, and i'm pumped. i would have loved to get it sooner so i have it for vacay, but as one of my nanny families taught their children (and they recite often) "you get what you get and you don't complain."
But i can't wait to have my own camera so i can be a constant blogger/photographer. another thing to distract me...

Monday, April 5, 2010

Just got back from a "photo shoot" with the ever so talented and beautiful and hilarious Kelsey Lynn.


I don't know why I decided to put "photo shoot" in quotations.
It was not fake.
It was definitely a photo shoot.
For a CD that I am currently recording.
I just don't know how to handle the truth of the situation.
Get pumped for music and for photos.


All I Have

I've been a little obsessed with Mat Kearney lately. I wasn't one of the first to love his music, but after seeing him in concert I just can't seem to get enough. Someone about seeing someone's music live brings a new appreciation for it. And as it turns out, it is such a good groove for this new spring weather. It grooves perfectly through my room with the windows open and the sun shining through.

Going into the city on Wednesday for an interview with a staffing this point, i'll take any ho-hum desk job for a while. I so badly need to get something else on my resume besides "hey i'm jenna and i'll watch your kid." So we'll see how that goes...