"it sucks, but in a lovely sort of way."

oh me oh my.


how i have neglected the blog.

it is not because nothing has happened, but because so much has been happening that i have no time to write or formulate stories or anything of the sort. my life lately has not stopped. i do not like life that does not pause to breathe or rest or enjoy the little things. i'm missing random drives (despite the fact that its still super cold), writing music, being crafty, baking, etc.

so what HAVE i been doing?

one weekend at the end of January, I flew down to lead worship in New Jersey for a friend's youth group retreat. it was awesome. i got to see some friends i hadn't seen in a while and God showed up in awesome ways in the kids lives. It was great to be spending time with youth again.

we had World Mandate - a smaller version of a large missions conference at our sending church in Waco, TX. i got to be a part of the band, which was amazing and also way more difficult than I had anticipated. The weekend was great, but I also had some kind of 24 hour bug. it was not so fun and pretty exhausting. we rocked out, but i'm also learning a lot about trying to worship while leading. I feel like i've gotten much better at this at my own church, when I am leading worship - but this was a totally new atmosphere, and I was following another person who was doing most of the leading. actually being in a state of worship while following and while powering through sickness was uber difficult. i'm still processing it all.
Sunday morning of that conference, I got the most unfortunate call that Vinnie, our personal chef, BBQ judge, Mario Kart oponent, Strollo's buddy, and my New Jersey "adopted" father, had passed away. He had been battling cancer for a few years and the past year especially has been a rollercoaster ride. after finding this out at the end of our conference, I took Monday off work to rest - i went to bed Sun night at 5pm and woke up at 8am. 15 hours of sleep did wonders. The funeral was this past weekend, and i travelled down with erica to meet up with everyone at hotel de megan. i'm still trying to formulate what this weekend was for me. everyone has really been checking in with me now that i'm back home - they want to know how i'm doing. but this weekend was so beautiful, and so healthy.

i said to megan before i flew down there,
"it sucks, but in a lovely sort of way."

i'm so thankful that Vinnie is not suffering. i'm so thankful for him, and for his family in my life. we honestly celebrated him this weekend. the band and the ushers wore hawaiian shirts. we sang his favorite songs. we told funny stories. we ate baked ziti and sausage and peppers. we cried and we prayed, but we worshipped and we celebrated as well. i haven't laughed as hard with friends as i did this weekend in a long time. the way the body of Christ came together this past week and weekend to support family, to mourn and to celebrate, was so beautiful. and in a sneaky way, in the midst of the sadness of losing someone so close and dear to us, the community and family that was experienced was refreshing. I'll never understand all of God's purposes, but I am even more appreciative of the miracle of community in the body. it was healing. God is faithful and oh so good to His children.
I don't really have a lot of extra time right now, but i'm determined to hunt it down and claim it and use it for things that bring life.

i want to live a life that brings more life.
pray for rosie - i met her on the plane and prayed with her. she's hungry for God and seeking Him. Pray that she'll seek Him not through her own power and worldly things, but go straight to the source.

why would we choose the leaky faucet when he offers a living, breathing, rushing river?