Kaley said that if I wanted to be a good blogger, I just have to start writing. That's what Anne Lammott always says.
“I know some very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but we do not like her very much. We do not think that she has a rich inner life or that God likes her or can even stand her. (Although when I mentioned this to my priest friend Tom, he said that you can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.)”
It has been quite the crazy couple of months, or however long it has been since I wrote a blog that wasn't a contest entry. (whoops.)
I am currently on a bus. a bolt bus. writing a blog. there is a power outlet at my feet, and precisely 3 other humans on this bus, including the bus driver, of which i am the only female. i suspect this will be a fairly dull trip - but who knows. i may have a streak of blogging genius here.
I just finished a whirlwind trip to NJ then SC for a wedding then NJ again for a support raising party (#3 this month). I saw sooo many people I hadn't seen in forever. Ocean Grove friends and 'family,' my high school best friend Jaime, my Flagler friends. It was an amazingly encouraging time and I can NOT believe that we're already at the end of October.
The biggest "win" for the weekend was an answered prayer.
Before the trip began, I woke up one morning last week feeling led to pray that after this trip, I would have some kind of provision (how it was going to look, I didn't know), but I quickly stopped praying for fear that if I didn't get what I dreamed of, I would be so disappointed. So I put it aside, not wanting to get my hopes up only to be let down. But at work that day, a friend told me that he had been hoping that after this weekend, I would have what I need to get a car, or at least move toward that goal. So i took that as enough of a prodding to be obedient and pray for big things. and I emailed my friends, both for my own accountability and for their help. I asked them to be obedient with me and pray for big things. I decided that i'd rather be obedient and be wrong then not pray for anything at all.
monday, as I am driving with megan and her brother to lunch at surf taco (garlic shrimp taco is where it's AT), i get a voicemail. i had somehow missed the call, but the voicemail was from an acquaintance who i have never approached about financial support. but through the grapevine and the faithful prayers of my friends, they found out I was in need of funds for a car, and have decided to send me a check totaling about $3000 to get me started in that direction. I was floored. I mean, I believed that God would answer my prayer in some way, but as an attempt to protect my heart from disappointment, I was submitted to however He wanted that to look, even if it meant that it wouldn't be in the form of money.
I'm humbled and honored and blown away, yet again, at my Father's desire to provide far beyond what I am willing and able to dream and ask for myself. Why do I always doubt that He will do this for me? I'm not sure that I walked away from this weekend with any increase in monthly support, but I sure did walk away feeling encouraged and cared for. Just another confirmation that I am walking in the right path even when it seems so risky and uncomfortable.