out of hiding

i've been MIA - and i'm sorry.

I did this thing called travelling for 27 straight hours to a place far away called India. Then I travelled back after 2 weeks of chicken tikka masala, learning to be the rickshaw master, praying for people, seeing healings, playing worship music in clubs, inviting people to know Jesus, and i didn't even get sick - until i got home.

maybe i'll post pictures soon, but i'm still super processing. i dont really know how to "post" about a trip to india except to say that i loved it, God is good, and i was ready to come home.

now that i'm home, i'm back to working at the seminary. i'm in my same office, but working a new part-time position which currently is providing more full-time hours as i continue to train in the new job and train the new person in my old job. I'm trying to pick up scattered babysitting jobs in the meantime, and i'm officially on support with the church starting this month. but i'm only at 30% - pray.

my car was out of commission for almost 2 weeks. i came home to it not running, had a sketchy mechanic neighbor take a look at it and misdiagnose it, got it towed to my local mechanic, who also misdiagnosed, charged me for a minor repair that it also needed, and had me tow it to the dealership. i passed on that offer and got it towed to the saab specialist who sold me the car. he made two very expensive repairs, and a week and half later, i'm now reunited with my old, sometimes faithful saab, Amadeus.
car stuff stresses me out. i dont have money to buy a new one. and my credit card has taken a few big blows this year on repairs to this one. but God provided awesomely generous friends for a week and a half that were willing to drive me places or let me borrow their cars. I am well looked-after, and so thankful for it. now let's just pray i dont have to talk to another mechanic for a loooooong time.

the fourth of july weekend was awesome.
a day in rockport and brackenberry beach with elisa and angela = more sea glass than i've ever found.
playing music at the highland bean supper/folk festival = fun and a possible offer to play music at the topsfield fair
leading worship with a 56-youth choir, then getting in a car with j and liz to connecticut.

connecticut was so refreshing. i'm still kind of reeling in thankfulness and awe of chill time spent with friends, of an absolutely gorgeous setting, of camping outside, up close and personal fireworks displays, walks on the beach with liz, watching the boys do silly things at the beach, and just resting my soul a little bit. i'm just so thankful for friends and for where God likes to take me.
so thankful.

this weekend includes, but is not limited to, making a baby shower cake and a bachelorette party.

23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
Ephesians 4:23-24

Currently baffled that this is possible - maybe more thoughts later. :)

Namaste.

My silence in the blog-o-sphere can be summed up in the following information.

I'm leaving for this place on Sunday.

Bangalore, India.

Sick.

just feeling a little overwhelmed.
i have friends in town, which is oh so glorious. and my heart is happy.
but i have a lot to do before india. the trip has been fully funded, but when I return, i'll suddenly be working part-time, off my current health insurance, living on some support, and probably scrounging up part time jobs.
I'm currently at 20% of my monthly support goal, still working full time, leading worship trying to figure out how i'm going to find time to sit down and more actively raise the rest of my monthly support, taking part time gigs where I can, and prepping for a trip out of the country. and with two weeks out of the country during the month when i need the support to arrive, i'm not sure how it's all going to pan out.
God is good. He WILL provide. But there's a lot I feel like I need to be doing that i'm not doing and I currently don't know when i'll find the time to do.
just feeling a little overwhelmed.

ok, i'm done pouting.
now i'm just singing this song over and over and over and over again.



i'm also now at 15% of my monthly support.
this number may seem small, but considering I was at 3% last week, I'd say this feels pretty good. We're in the double digits here, people. I still have a long way to go, but God is good. He will provide. That's my mantra the last two days (minus the pouting time yesterday).
"God, You WILL provide for me. You are good and You WILL provide."

I realized that I had said that about India. I had seen Him do it before and I had told a few people "i'm not worried about getting to India at all - it's just going to happen." And it did. Lickety Split. but i have always been nervous about this monthly thing. and hesitant to assume or proclaim that it will all come in so fast. I'm far too anxious about it. far too nervous. far too worrisome. yesterday didn't help. but yesterday is over and today is fresh and new. He WILL provide. He is good and He WILL provide.

I'm also being commissioned this weekend at church - a chance to let people know what i'm doing, that i'm in a place of raising support, that i'm in need of serious prayer, and that i'm ultimately doing it to serve God and serve them - the church. I'm excited for the chance to let people in on this, excited to see how God uses it to provide, and excited that i'm not leading worship this week so that I can actually be available after the service to chat and receive prayer.

Help me find my own flame.

it is well with my soul...almost.

remember last spring when i was job searching like mad?

i came so close so many times and just faced a lot of disappointment?

here we go again.

the position i applied for at the seminary, the part time one that i head everyone was so excited i had applied for, including the boss and the people in HR, the one that would have gone perfectly with my schedule out of here and into part-time ministry. that one.

crushed before my very eyes today as they walked the new employee through my office to introduce them to everyone.

I didn't even know they had started interviewing.

if i can't get a job here, it's ok.

if God has a different plan, it's ok.

but i hate getting my hopes up. i hate it when people don't communicate with me so that i'm lead to believe a completely different thing that what is actually happening.

i hate feeling foolish.

so i'm calling in the use of the pouty face today.

i promise not to rock it too long - because i'm pumped to see what else is on the horizon. but now i've got a lot on my brain until india. and i'm trying to face the reality that i probably wont get to stay here at gcts anymore. so i'm gonna work the pouty face just for today.

back on the horse soon, i promise.

also - turn on the "enter the worship circle" station on pandora.

every single song is speaking right to my heart right now.

much needed.

i'm on the cusp of something big.
i'll let you know when i figure out what the heck it is.

music i cant get enough of lately: