The Storehouse Sessions

The Best of the Best.

Malachi hit me pretty hard this morning. I wasn’t expecting it. I was just reading there because I know there’s a verse about the storehouse – and I’m starting a new worship event next week called The Storehouse Sessions. I was diving into scripture with selfish desires, but I think I got more than I asked for.

“’When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be please with you? Would he accept you?’ says the Lord Almighty…’When you bring injured, crippled, or diseased animals and offer them as sacrifices, should I accept them from your hands?’ says the Lord. ‘Cursed is the cheat who has an acceptable male in his flock and vows to give it, but then sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord. For I am a great king,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and my name is to be feared among the nations.’” (Malachi 1:8 & 13-14)

At first glance, it’s not a warm and fuzzy passage. Actually, it isn’t at second or third glance, either. It’s easy to skim a passage like this because in the glorious light of Christ, God does not ask us to make these kinds of sacrifices. It is hard for us to relate to a God or a people who are arguing over crippled and diseased animals, but God kept nudging me as I was reading this morning.

God may not be frustrated with the lack of quality livestock that I offer at His feet, but what exactly am I offering? What have I been given versus what I am willing to give back to Him? For me this morning, the passage wasn’t even about finances. God speaks later in Malachi about tithing and finances, but I was struck thinking of my gifts and talents, my services, and my heart. Who is getting my best today? Do I have talent and gifts that I am offering to the world before offering them to the service of God? Am I hiding and protecting what He has given me for fear of losing it? Is the heart behind my offering simply to fulfill a religious duty? Who around me could benefit from what I have or what I can do, but hasn’t because I’ve kept all the good stuff for myself and only given the mediocre to God?

God knows my best because He created my best. He knows my finances. He knows my gifts. He knows my talents and my skills. He knows my heart. He’s the One who equipped me with all that I have, so shouldn’t it seem logical to give back to Him the best of it all? Who is getting the best of me today?

Later, in Malachi 3, God claims that His people are robbing Him. “’Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit,’ says the Lord Almighty. ‘Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,’ says the Lord Almighty.” (Malachi 3: 10-12 Emphasis mine.)

This wrecked me a little. Can you hear His heart? God, in His anger, asks the people to test Him. However, what I hear is not just anger, but a passion for us to see that He desires to give back to his people more than they can ever offer to Him. It is as if He is also shouting, “If you would only listen, you would be overflowing with wealth. If you’d only commit to give me your best, you would see that I can multiply what you think is your best into ten times what you already have. I have so much more for you that you wouldn’t even be able to contain it. But you won’t get to taste of the overflow until you are willing to offer to me your best. The blessing starts with what you are willing to offer Me.”

So here I am, trying to get some vision for this worship night starting next week, and I’m convicted that I often keep the best for myself. I am convicted that I often offer my best to the world as a way of impressing others or proving myself to the world. When really, God’s offer is that if I will give to Him my best, then my “best” isn’t actually my best at all, because He will continue to multiply and transform it into more than I am able to contain.

This is the essence of The Storehouse Sessions. If we are willing to come into God’s presence, lay down our own junk, worries, anxieties, stress, sin, burdens, etc, He will meet us in a place of our deepest need. If we are willing to lay aside the things that we have put first, and offer to him our whole heart, our entire storehouse, He will not only fill it, but cause it to overflow. And in that place of overflow, we will have the grace and the power we need to offer our best, then, to those around us, allowing impact and transformation to happen out of God’s overflow rather than our own strength.

The Storehouse Sessions

4^th Friday of the Month

February 24^th, 2012 @ 7:00pm

Message me for the address or look for updates on www.the-harbor.net

Repentance

I am a horrible blogger. Or maybe the last few months have been crazy. Or not crazy enough to feel the need to post. The world may never know. But you know what I realized about not blogging? There are a few lives that I haven't been keeping up with the way that I used to and I miss that. SO, here are some updates about me to tide you over (and by "you" i mean the 2 people who may possibly read this) until I write a real entry. I have a few brewing.

- God is good. All the time.

- Jesus bought be a car. I'm pretty sure i'm getting it this weekend, including a visit from my dad. Pictures and stories to come.

- I got my tattoo fixed. My tattoo is a story i've been dying to write about. Because it sure is a story. One that has been brewing for over a year now. More to come soon.

- We had our missions conference, World Mandate, this past weekend and it was amazing. So amazing. I'm exhausted and still processing all the things I feel like God downloaded this weekend, but man am I encouraged.

- I am consistently blessed and blown away by my community here and by my friends. I hope I don't jinx it all by saying this, but I love my friends and I love this place where I live. I love community. I love being close to the water, close to the city, and in cutesy New England. And I love walking to my friends houses. I love spending all day Sunday with friends after church, making meals and being lazy and living life together.

- I am intentionally trying to get my Spanish skills back. Or more skills than I ever possessed. I switched my Facebook settings to Spanish. I bought a Spanish verbs workbook. I stole Rosetta Stone from my friend. I bought a killer looking headset with which to work on Rosetta Stone. I google and wiki different cities and villages in Spain and the Canary Islands all the time to learn about the culture and the amount of outreach happening there. Did you know that Spain is the least evangelized Spanish-speaking country?

- I'm a little sad i'm not going on a missions trip this summer. I'm getting the travel bug - trying to figure out where else I can get to in the near future.

- I'm still raising monthly support for my ministry role. God has been super faithful, and i'm currently at 65-70% of my  monthly support-raising goal, but still need to work hard at getting these numbers up so I can keep doing what i'm doing.

- God is stirring and moving in worship at the harbor and i'm in the process of dreaming/vision-casting for a new worship series. Get pumped.

Ok, that's good for starters.
Go do something that makes you smile.

bah humbug.

This was my desk when I got back to work today, because I'm the Bah-Humbug who won't let anyone listen to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving.

bolt bus blog.

Kaley said that if I wanted to be a good blogger, I just have to start writing. That's what Anne Lammott always says. 

“I know some very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but we do not like her very much. We do not think that she has a rich inner life or that God likes her or can even stand her. (Although when I mentioned this to my priest friend Tom, he said that you can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.)” 

It has been quite the crazy couple of months, or however long it has been since I wrote a blog that wasn't a contest entry. (whoops.)

I am currently on a bus. a bolt bus. writing a blog. there is a power outlet at my feet, and precisely 3 other humans on this bus, including the bus driver, of which i am the only female. i suspect this will be a fairly dull trip - but who knows. i may have a streak of blogging genius here. 

I just finished a whirlwind trip to NJ then SC for a wedding then NJ again for a support raising party (#3 this month). I saw sooo many people I hadn't seen in forever. Ocean Grove friends and 'family,' my high school best friend Jaime, my Flagler friends. It was an amazingly encouraging time and I can NOT believe that we're already at the end of October.

The biggest "win" for the weekend was an answered prayer.

Before the trip began, I woke up one morning last week feeling led to pray that after this trip, I would have some kind of provision (how it was going to look, I didn't know), but I quickly stopped praying for fear that if I didn't get what I dreamed of, I would be so disappointed. So I put it aside, not wanting to get my hopes up only to be let down. But at work that day, a friend told me that he had been hoping that after this weekend, I would have what I need to get a car, or at least move toward that goal. So i took that as enough of a prodding to be obedient and pray for big things. and I emailed my friends, both for my own accountability and for their help. I asked them to be obedient with me and pray for big things. I decided that i'd rather be obedient and be wrong then not pray for anything at all.

monday, as I am driving with megan and her brother to lunch at surf taco (garlic shrimp taco is where it's AT), i get a voicemail. i had somehow missed the call, but the voicemail was from an acquaintance who i have never approached about financial support. but through the grapevine and the faithful prayers of my friends, they found out I was in need of funds for a car, and have decided to send me a check totaling about $3000 to get me started in that direction. I was floored. I mean, I believed that God would answer my prayer in some way, but as an attempt to protect my heart from disappointment, I was submitted to however He wanted that to look, even if it meant that it wouldn't be in the form of money. 

I'm humbled and honored and blown away, yet again, at my Father's desire to provide far beyond what I am willing and able to dream and ask for myself. Why do I always doubt that He will do this for me? I'm not sure that I walked away from this weekend with any increase in monthly support, but I sure did walk away feeling encouraged and cared for. Just another confirmation that I am walking in the right path even when it seems so risky and uncomfortable. 

The Reading Rainbow

There aren't really a lot of things I need.
Sure, I get a little anxious about finances sometimes. Especially now, while i'm support-raising. Life right now kinda feels like a balancing act. I'm the gal balancing the spinning plates on her chin. While juggling flaming oranges. On a unicycle. On a tightrope. Over a pool of ravenous snakes. Surrounded by lions.

Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic. I'm not scared. I just have a lot of different things on my plate that i'm trying to learn how to juggle. But the truth is, in the midst of it all, I don't need a lot. God has provided for me in awesome ways. Finances may get tight, but I have food. I have shelter. I have amazing community. I have a loving God. I can't really ask for much more.

But while we're on the subject of asking, I was playing with a friend's Kindle a couple of weeks ago and thought to myself, "Wow-how far away is Christmas? And how can I get me one of these?"

Fast forward to today, and I stumble upon this glory of all glories. A nook being given away for free. A color one at that. And all I had to do was write about it in my blog - perfect because i've been lacking in content ideas lately. Who wouldn't wanna win a nook?

I do. And i'm in the mood to make things happen.
Let's get this party started.

a riley day is a good day.

i got to take a little trip back in time today and hang out with riley all day long. what a sweet day to get out of the office and outside in the sunshine. first, i painted her nails with glitter polish that i bought, admittedly, for myself last night at target. it's amazing. i wish i got to be 13 in the 80s. this will have to do. then we went to dane street beach where she was super happy just to play in the sand and splash around for a while.

then we went to atomic for lunch. classic. always delicious.

then to stop and shop and farmer brown's for some errands for her mom. now we're home. we split a whoopie pie and she's napping. i'm catching up on emails, but can't wait to snuggle up with this guy:

some classic riley quotes:

Me: No, silly, you're not tired yet.

Riley: Jenna, I am a girl who KNOWS when she's tired.

there was also a pretty priceless moment at the grocery store when i was looking at the pies for her mom and look over to find that riley had slipped a box of cookies under her arm. I asked her what she was doing and she said with all the confidence in the world, "oh, we're buying these."

"oh, no we're not."

because we got split a whoopie pie instead. 

sweet day.

summery things.

Just sending some photos along with updates from the summer.

Trip to India....

and some other fun summery things that have been happening:

i have more...it's just a matter of getting them up here.

just a little taste for now. :)

on the road again.

it feels like i just got back, but i'm headed out again today.
and i could not be more excited.

today's flight: boston to raleigh.
carride with jaime to winston-salem for pre-wedding festivities with catherine and her bridal party.
cat's wedding on saturday.

carride with ross to asheville - 2 days, 2 nights in a hostel in the heart of one of my favorite cities i've ever been to. on my own. a mini vacay filled with re-visiting a church there, long walks, taking lots of photos, meandering beautiful streets, cute shops, bookstores, reading, coffeeshops, meeting cool people.
i'm excited.

then a little drive out to ridgecrest for the us church planting conference - staffers from all of our US church plants in one place to reconnect, refresh, learn, grow, worship, etc. so pumped.

carride with the rest of my staff up to NJ on thursday to crash on megan's couch in Ocean Grove. Pull an all-nighter so i can spend time with some of my favorite people in another favorite place. drive back up to beverly.

next saturday: to maine for an amos lee concert at the llbean outlet for sarah b's birthday.

so many sweet sweet friends and memories and places to be in the next week and a day.

chock full.

i am so excited.
and so incredibly blessed.
bon voyage!

i have to brag.

ok, big sister's gonna brag for a minute.
last week, my brother's band, My Maker and I got to play on both the main stage and the arkansas stage at Cornerstone - a hardcore christian music festival. he's in a christian scream-o band. he's a rockstar.

i heart my bro.

so blessed.

a lot of my weekend was spent making this:

I swear i love making cakes for people. But after 5 hours of cake making and decorating, i'm done. i'm exhausted. i fell asleep on the couch and i dont wanna see another cake for weeks.

This one was for a friend of a friend's baby shower. she's having a girl and her name is arielle. the shower was a block theme and the mom-to-be hates pink. and chocolate. so the cake was vanilla with strawberries and white chocolate. and blocks.

after cake making, i went out to run errands and hang out with elisa, then we met the other roommates for roommate birthday dinner at not your average joe's. always my favorite.

sunday was church. it was fantastic. i had so much fun playing music. i love what i do.

then beach all day at brackenbury with friends.

also fun.

so blessed.

then off to a bachelorette party. again, so fun.

now its monday and we're back into the swing of things.

i'll post pics soon from the 4th and india - but this is what i have on me right now.

out of hiding

i've been MIA - and i'm sorry.

I did this thing called travelling for 27 straight hours to a place far away called India. Then I travelled back after 2 weeks of chicken tikka masala, learning to be the rickshaw master, praying for people, seeing healings, playing worship music in clubs, inviting people to know Jesus, and i didn't even get sick - until i got home.

maybe i'll post pictures soon, but i'm still super processing. i dont really know how to "post" about a trip to india except to say that i loved it, God is good, and i was ready to come home.

now that i'm home, i'm back to working at the seminary. i'm in my same office, but working a new part-time position which currently is providing more full-time hours as i continue to train in the new job and train the new person in my old job. I'm trying to pick up scattered babysitting jobs in the meantime, and i'm officially on support with the church starting this month. but i'm only at 30% - pray.

my car was out of commission for almost 2 weeks. i came home to it not running, had a sketchy mechanic neighbor take a look at it and misdiagnose it, got it towed to my local mechanic, who also misdiagnosed, charged me for a minor repair that it also needed, and had me tow it to the dealership. i passed on that offer and got it towed to the saab specialist who sold me the car. he made two very expensive repairs, and a week and half later, i'm now reunited with my old, sometimes faithful saab, Amadeus.
car stuff stresses me out. i dont have money to buy a new one. and my credit card has taken a few big blows this year on repairs to this one. but God provided awesomely generous friends for a week and a half that were willing to drive me places or let me borrow their cars. I am well looked-after, and so thankful for it. now let's just pray i dont have to talk to another mechanic for a loooooong time.

the fourth of july weekend was awesome.
a day in rockport and brackenberry beach with elisa and angela = more sea glass than i've ever found.
playing music at the highland bean supper/folk festival = fun and a possible offer to play music at the topsfield fair
leading worship with a 56-youth choir, then getting in a car with j and liz to connecticut.

connecticut was so refreshing. i'm still kind of reeling in thankfulness and awe of chill time spent with friends, of an absolutely gorgeous setting, of camping outside, up close and personal fireworks displays, walks on the beach with liz, watching the boys do silly things at the beach, and just resting my soul a little bit. i'm just so thankful for friends and for where God likes to take me.
so thankful.

this weekend includes, but is not limited to, making a baby shower cake and a bachelorette party.

23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
Ephesians 4:23-24

Currently baffled that this is possible - maybe more thoughts later. :)

Namaste.

My silence in the blog-o-sphere can be summed up in the following information.

I'm leaving for this place on Sunday.

Bangalore, India.

Sick.

just feeling a little overwhelmed.
i have friends in town, which is oh so glorious. and my heart is happy.
but i have a lot to do before india. the trip has been fully funded, but when I return, i'll suddenly be working part-time, off my current health insurance, living on some support, and probably scrounging up part time jobs.
I'm currently at 20% of my monthly support goal, still working full time, leading worship trying to figure out how i'm going to find time to sit down and more actively raise the rest of my monthly support, taking part time gigs where I can, and prepping for a trip out of the country. and with two weeks out of the country during the month when i need the support to arrive, i'm not sure how it's all going to pan out.
God is good. He WILL provide. But there's a lot I feel like I need to be doing that i'm not doing and I currently don't know when i'll find the time to do.
just feeling a little overwhelmed.

ok, i'm done pouting.
now i'm just singing this song over and over and over and over again.



i'm also now at 15% of my monthly support.
this number may seem small, but considering I was at 3% last week, I'd say this feels pretty good. We're in the double digits here, people. I still have a long way to go, but God is good. He will provide. That's my mantra the last two days (minus the pouting time yesterday).
"God, You WILL provide for me. You are good and You WILL provide."

I realized that I had said that about India. I had seen Him do it before and I had told a few people "i'm not worried about getting to India at all - it's just going to happen." And it did. Lickety Split. but i have always been nervous about this monthly thing. and hesitant to assume or proclaim that it will all come in so fast. I'm far too anxious about it. far too nervous. far too worrisome. yesterday didn't help. but yesterday is over and today is fresh and new. He WILL provide. He is good and He WILL provide.

I'm also being commissioned this weekend at church - a chance to let people know what i'm doing, that i'm in a place of raising support, that i'm in need of serious prayer, and that i'm ultimately doing it to serve God and serve them - the church. I'm excited for the chance to let people in on this, excited to see how God uses it to provide, and excited that i'm not leading worship this week so that I can actually be available after the service to chat and receive prayer.

Help me find my own flame.

it is well with my soul...almost.

remember last spring when i was job searching like mad?

i came so close so many times and just faced a lot of disappointment?

here we go again.

the position i applied for at the seminary, the part time one that i head everyone was so excited i had applied for, including the boss and the people in HR, the one that would have gone perfectly with my schedule out of here and into part-time ministry. that one.

crushed before my very eyes today as they walked the new employee through my office to introduce them to everyone.

I didn't even know they had started interviewing.

if i can't get a job here, it's ok.

if God has a different plan, it's ok.

but i hate getting my hopes up. i hate it when people don't communicate with me so that i'm lead to believe a completely different thing that what is actually happening.

i hate feeling foolish.

so i'm calling in the use of the pouty face today.

i promise not to rock it too long - because i'm pumped to see what else is on the horizon. but now i've got a lot on my brain until india. and i'm trying to face the reality that i probably wont get to stay here at gcts anymore. so i'm gonna work the pouty face just for today.

back on the horse soon, i promise.

also - turn on the "enter the worship circle" station on pandora.

every single song is speaking right to my heart right now.

much needed.

i'm on the cusp of something big.
i'll let you know when i figure out what the heck it is.

music i cant get enough of lately:

Vin Diesel was born Mark Sinclair Vincent.
I'm guessing maybe in high school kids started calling him "Vin."
Why did I not realize in high school how ridiculous his name is.
Vin Diesel.
Who comes up with these things?
And how is it that THESE are the people who get famous?
Happy Cinco de Mayo!

disclaimer.

DISCLAIMER: It is embarassing how disconnected I am with world news and current events. Rarely do I take any political stance or engage in any in-depth conversations about political issues or current events. Any opinions I have are real and from the heart, but far from well-educated or well-informed.

The Facebook statuses that filled my newsfeed last night and this morning are still weighing on my heart. In the news of the death of Bin Laden may be found some justice for families and citizens whose lives have been deeply devastated by the acts of his group. Some may feel a sense of relief, of validation, of security now that he is gone. But this relief, this security, is false. This is not victory. We are not the victorious. There is only One who is truly just, only One who yields true Victory. The level of celebration in our country today is only a sad reminder to me how far we are from understanding real Victory. Innocent or guilty, I cannot bring myself to celebrate death, for I am just as deserving. Only one death brought victory and only one death is worthy of my celebration.

Father, teach us to love. Teach us to celebrate peace and justice rather than death and retaliation. In the midst of pain and chaos and devastating events, reveal to us daily the truth of who You are and remind us of Your presence. Bring Light to the dark and remind us that You have not left, that You are present, and that Your heart breaks for Your people. Remind us to look to You for a true example of justice and victory. We are a wounded people eager to pass blame, but You have already taken it all. We are deserving of death, yet You offer us life. Help us to live as though we actually understand and receive this gift.

pathetically sweet.

My concentration is shot.
All day, i've felt like it is Friday, and the disappointment alone each time I remember it's still on Thursday is too much for my fragile self to handle.

Today has been a day of crazy stories in the office.
Then, on my lunch break I needed to go to the post office.
So then, naturally, I needed to get an iced coffee.
And, obviously, if i'm getting an iced coffee, i need to get a few Royal Wedding Donuts for my coworkers to share and laugh about.
Don't get me wrong, i'm stoked for those Royal kids. Go get 'em. I hope they live happily ever after.
But I just don't get the Royal Wedding hype, and i'm a little sad about the fact that Dunkin Donuts has a Royal Wedding donut. Seriously?

This is the description taken from the website. It's sad, really.


Created in honor of the Royal couple, the Royal Wedding Donut will be available in participating U.S. Dunkin’ Donuts restaurants from April 24 through the wedding day, April 29. When developing the Royal Wedding Donut, Dunkin’ Donuts’ Executive Chef, Stan Frankenthaler and his culinary team kept both wedding traditions and the couple’s favorite flavors in mind.

For that reason, the team couldn’t resist making a heart-shaped glazed donut that’s filled with jelly. The heart signifies the love between Prince William and Catherine, and the donut is filled with jelly to represent how their lives are to be ever-filled with happiness. In honor of the traditional white wedding gown, the donut is topped with white frosting, but adds a modern twist with the chocolate drizzle, in celebration of William’s love for chocolate.