Well, I didn't get the job at Gordon.
I didn't even get an interview.
And that's ok - it's sad, but it's ok.
I'm totally ok with staying where I am a bit longer if that's what God has. I can handle a full time nanny job for another year while I finish Navigate. That's not the struggle here. I just find myself to be frustrated. I don't understand why so many seemingly great job opportunities have come my way and led me to believe that they would work out, only to flop at the last minute. I know without a doubt that this is not the heart of God, but I feel jerked around. I know that isn't His purpose in all of this and that He sees every detail that I can't. He knows so much more than i'll ever understand. But I can't help feeling like someone is messing with me.
I've contacted the families that I interviewed with about full time nanny jobs to see where their decision making process is - but for now, it looks like i'm going to keep up the part time shuffle until I leave for this trip, and join the club of people coming back from North Africa without jobs. Yes, we're starting a club. There seems to be a significant number of us making that bold move. (ack!)

Here are some pics from the 3 on 3 tournament this weekend:

these middle school girls were fierce

killer dance team...

and here's a song that will hopefully make you as happy as it makes me.
lets make music on a train.

Burgundy Heart-Shaped Medallion

If I had a spell of magic,
I would make this enchantment for you:
A burgundy heart-shaped medallion
With a window that you could look through.
So that when all the mirrors are angry
with your faults and all you must do,
you could peek through that heart-shaped medallion
and see you from my point of view.

David Wilcox

Lunch of Champions

1) Put corn and black beans in a bowl. 

2) Sprinkle with cheese.

3) Microwave until perfectly warm and melty.

4) Add two dollops of salsa and half of one perfectly ripe avocado.

5) Top with crumbled tortilla chips.

6) Enjoy what happiness in a bowl tastes like.

7) You're welcome. 

they call me Jenna Renegade

The Roller Derby was super fantastic.
Saturday, a group of about 16 of us headed out to Wilmington to check out the Roller Derby to celebrate mine and Alexis' birthdays last week. It was intense. And wonderful. I gave up taking pictures fairly quickly, so I haven't even tried uploading them yet. But I will tell you that the first "bout" was between the Wicked Pissahs and the Cosmonaughties and the second "bout" was between the Boston Massacre and the Oly Rollers. That's just to give you a little taste of the intensity that is the Boston Derby Dames.
And I bought a tshirt.
Plus there was an "after party" where we may or may not have danced our butts off and enjoyed some of the BEST people watching I have ever experienced.

As a whole, birthday week was fabulous.
I did some shopping, some hanging with friends, went to a play, got a pedicure, went to the roller derby, and OH YEAH, found out about a killer job at Gordon that I super duper want. (But yet somehow, i'm trying not to get tooo excited about - fail.)
Drumroll please...

Administrative Assistant to the Music Department

Look this up in the dictionary, and there is most definitely a picture of me right beside it. When I got the tipoff about the job (on my birthday, might I add), I printed the application, my resume, and cover letter, and drove it to Gordon myself. The HR guy was shocked at how quickly I had responded, and even recognized my name from when I applied for a job there last year.
I'm still interviewing for full time nanny positions, and had one yesterday that seemed like it could be great. But those all fall short when held up next to this doozy. I'm trying to find the balance in getting excited about this job and really keeping an open heart to whatever the heck God is going to do with this situation, because it is seriously all in His hands at this point.

Here are some photos from sitting last week and Matt's play -

I made my first big scheduling mishap yesterday. I've been calling my life the "part-time shuffle" and this is proof that this is exactly what it is. 

While babysitting last night, I got a call from one of my voice students saying, "I'm here, where are you?"

I double-booked and was so incredibly embarrassed. 

Lord, please get me out of the part-time shuffle.

I wanna dance the full-time tango. 

More beautiful children:

I may or may not have fallen in love this morning:

i love beautiful people.

 man oh man, has God put some beautiful people in my life:
(Can you tell I love my new camera, and off-center portraits?)

these are pics from Sara's bridal shower today.
Today went like this:
Worship run through with Mike, job interview, bridal shower, pop in on Esther's grad party, lay in bed, then maybe some shenanigans later tonight.

bam bam bam, i'm like Emeril.

Baby Time

I can't help that I watch such adorable kids -

My new camera came today, so what did I do? Took pictures of Miya, of course.
Introducing, my first photo blog (of my own, current photos, that is).
(YAY)

Lunchtime, and the classic sneaky face.

Hello, gorgeous.

Taking her shoes on and off 600 times.

Flowers in her toes. 

I love it when I capture the drool.

Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent...

I lost a kid today.
Clarification: He ran away from me.
I changed his name to Disaster.
I actually had to call a mother and say something to the effect of, "Hi, this isn't going to sound great, but I think Disaster is hiding from me."

We were on the porch about to walk to the elementary school to pick up his brother when he starts throwing a fit that he wants to drive and not walk. Not having my keys on me or the car seat in the car, I tried to convince him that we needed to get going. Walking to the elementary school is not a new feat or adventure. Everyday, he walks the 2 blocks to get his brother. But that wasn't working. And I ultimately decided, with storm clouds rolling in, that maybe it was wiser to restrain a tantrum-ing 5 year old in my car than take him whining and kicking up to the school and back. I already have to threaten him with a pink hair ribbon not to run out into the street without me. (You think i'm joking...the kid is gonna get himself hit by a car one day. Hence the name change to Disaster. But for some reason, warning him that i'll make him wear a pink bow in his hair works. I go with what works.)

Anyway, here we are on the porch and I decide to run in and grab my keys and the car seat. Done it hundreds of times with this kid. But this time, he gets the wise idea to not be there when I get back. I assume he is hiding - I calm (enough) because I know that he is hiding and just being punky. But after looking in the cars, under the porches, in the back yard, and inside the house, and with his brother needing to be picked up from school, I have not choice but to call the mother.

She seems pretty calm. He's having a rough time with dad out of town and seems to be rebelling like this more and more (sure, that's comforting...) but she tells me a few places to look and not to worry about the older brother because he will just walk home if he doesn't see us there. About a minute later, Disaster and older brother come screaming down the hill. He had run away on his own to get his brother from school. (Wait a minute, I thought I ran in the house to get my keys because he refused to walk...)

So now I have a worried, angry mom on the phone (although thankfully not angry at me), a 5 year old yelling at me that I was a slow poke and how could I not come top pick up brother at school, and an 8 year old with Asperger's wondering why his lame-o babysitter sent the 5 year old to pick him up at school.

Madness.

Praise God for birthday coupons to Not Your Average Joe's.
Peanut Butter Thing, here I come.

Also, the memory card for my camera came today.
Not the camera.
What exactly am I supposed to do with that?
Somewhat counterintuitive, don't you think, walmart.com?

And, it only makes sense that I keep posting songs.

practically purple

Nancy was playing around in Photoshop with my eyes...I think maybe they pop a little too much. 

"My eyes are so blue I feel like I could look right through and see the stars and the moon take flight"

(See song below...)

It's 9am and the sky is clear and blue as can be. The sun is shining and it's about 65. It's going to be about 75 all day while i'm here watching Miya. We will most certainly be heading outside to walk, play, and maybe even go for a drive. This day is ideal.

Wanna know what else is ideal? It's supposed to thunderstorm tonight. Big time.

"Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm. I know, it's been coming for some time."

I realize that Nashville right now is devastated with flooding and Boston is in uproar without clean water to drink, but I cannot wait for this storm. I love summer storms. And we've been needing some of that cool fresh air to come sweeping through. In honor of the coming storm, i'm posting more Patty Griffin because I can't get enough of her and I happen to have "Rain" stuck in my head.

Also, I ordered my camera finally. Should be here for my birthday, just in time for great roller derby pictures and lots of blog-o-riffic photos for your viewing pleasure. Get pumped.

"emoticons"

I'm not a big "emoticon" user - I'd like to say that i'm a little more organic in my writing style. As organic as you can be via internet chat, I suppose. I don't use a lot of smilies or hearts, maybe a random "lol" here and there.
A friend of mine recently used this emoticon in conversation:

:?)

I didn't understand what it meant, and as it turns out, he invented it. He proceeded to tell me that it could represent a wealth of different emotions. Because I wasn't satisfied with its ambiguous nature and its lopsided nose, I created my own.

:&


When asked about the meaning of my newly-invented emoticon, I replied,
"It means I have two eyes and no idea what i'm feeling." 

I think this is a fairly accurate statement for my life lately.
Or, perhaps more accurately, i'm feeling lots of things and don't really know which to focus on.
Let's make a list:
Joy, Anxiety, Peace, Uncertainty, Anticipation, Frustration, Excitement, Discontent, Impatience, Independence...just to name a few.
It's a pretty broad spectrum of emotion, which I admit is fairly typical of 20-somethings, women, and all other human beings, but I still feel like I'm on the cusp of something that needs to get figured out. Something needs to transition. I'm at a point in my schedule, in my heart, in my life, where something needs to take a turn. Something new needs to happen. I'm learning to trust and *starting* to learn to be patient. But I feel like i'm sitting on the edge of a new season and need a little push to get it going.